17/02/20
Jem is meditating on her bed and I’m writing on mine. She really is the zennest girl I know. Getting an Uber from the airport last night was rather stressful and very hot. It was late, humid and when Jose Reinaldo finally found the hostel up a very steep travessa, I nearly fell backwards down the hill with my bulging rucksack as I got out. A moody, half asleep receptionist welcomed me (though that might be a misleading verb to use) then said obstinately that there was no booking under the name Jemima in the hostel. Moments later, when Jem came downstairs to give me a real welcome, the moody girl bluntly asked us to pay then gave us the grand tour. Our room is very basic - two triple bunks, a big window and an electric fan. We each have a metal crate for our things and I’ve claimed a single nail in the wall as my towel hook. Jem and I are on the bottom bunks and our mattresses don’t really fit the bed frames so they sort of curl up at the sides and spill out. Unsurprisingly, thanks to my height, I spill out of the bed much like the mattress and have to stick my feet out through the metal rungs to lie straight. Jem is still meditating. I asked her last night if she could teach me but she said it’s really hard. She was doing it every day for 10 days before I arrived and wasn’t allowed to speak to or make eye contact with anyone. Pretty intense.
Somehow it’s already Day 14 of this South American adventure and I’m sitting alone in a nice shady spot, wondering how to condense our first week in Rio into a 4 minute read. So, after our late night welcome party we were up early and munching through the hostel breakfast at 8am and devising a plan for the day and the weeks ahead. Our first stop had to be the iconic beaches Copacabana and Ipanema where we would be meeting a friend of Jem’s from her mediation course. Laís was super friendly, smiley and full of good advice for our stay in Rio. I tried to learn some Portuguese by parroting her. “Eh kara eu kero macoin” means “hey dude I want some weed”. A phrase I’m sure I won’t use though. The sun was scorching and the sea was freezing. Beach sellers wandered through us tanners advertising their quejo and agua de coco for 10R$ (less than £2). Quejo means cheese but this particular cheese was halloumi fried on a stick with your choice of sauce, be it garlic, honey or chilli. We drank mate limao which is basically iced tea with lemon juice but the customer chooses the ratio of tea to lemon juice from the two big containers being lugged around by the vendor. Fried halloumi became the snack we never knew we needed as we found ourselves craving it on every visit to the beach thereafter.
It was only back at the hostel that we realised one application of sun cream for our first day in tropical heat was shamefully insufficient. The heat radiating from my sunburn was enough to warm a 5 storey townhouse and a cold shower only stung my poor tender tomatoed skin more. I had a pounding headache and no matter how much water I drank I still felt sick. On Laís’ recommendation, Jem and I went for beers and pastels at sunset at Mureta do Urca which means little wall of Urca, Urca being a big rock nearby. My headache persisted and my vision almost totally disappeared so thanks to sunstroke we decided to call it a day there and leave the proper drinking for the coming days.
We were up early the next day because we had an date with destiny, an appointment with the Holy Lord, Jesus Christ The Redeemer. It was a boiling bright blue sunny day and so worth the early start to see Him in all His glory. After a thrilling tram ride up and a sweaty tourist filled one back down, we walked through the shady Jardim Botânico and Parque Lage where we stopped for lunch. Quite up for a night out we decided to grab some more pastels and beers to watch the sunset, this time at the Forte do Copacabana, then head to Pedra do Sal, a street that is always busy with live music and people spilling out of bars dancing to bossa nova, reggae or samba til the small hours. Alas, with carnival a mere three days away pretty much all the bars except two were closed in preparation for the festivities and the only music playing was coming from a speaker not a live band. Undeterred, and probably helped by already being a few cervejas in, we stayed and drank until carriages at 1am.
We had a slightly wobbly start the next morning but nothing a cheese toastie, orange juice (definitely 100% from concentrate) and a coffee couldn’t fix. We spent the morning booking buses to onward destinations and once the admin was out of the way we set off to Santa Teresa, the arty old town on a hill above the centre. We ate lunch at a traditional restaurant and studied the menu intensely, trying to become acquainted with unfamiliar ingredients and local dishes with unusual flavour combinations. I opted for grilled chicken and veg with a passion fruit glaze while jem got roasted heart of palm, a root vegetable similar to sweet potato. Next we browsed artesian shops in the Lisbon-like streets until reaching the famous Escadaria Selaron. We paused at the bottom for an ice lolly and a breather in the shade. However these were no ordinary ice lollies. They were sealed in a plastic film in which the lady poked a hole for me to suck the lolly out of whilst it melted. A nice idea in theory but in practice it looked like I was sucking something other than a lolly to reenergise me for the afternoon.
Next stop was the Catedral Metropolitana de São Sebastião. To get there we walked down to Lap through the Arqueduto do Lapa, not realising this was where all the poorest communities gathered to beg or drink or sleep. We felt suddenly outnumbered by staring eyes and power walked uncomfortably to the cathedral, ignoring men clicking their lips and women shouting at us. The cathedral was amazing. It looked like a spaceship on the outside but had beautiful stained glass and stone sculptures inside. That evening we went to Sugar Loaf Mountain to watch the sunset with a Guaraviton and pastel de Belem and it did not disappoint.
After such an active day we decided we’d quite like a chilled one the next, and planned to visit some nicely air-conned museums. First was the Museu do Amanhã, the second Museu do Arte do Rio. Both were a pleasant surprise and had some interesting and fun exhibitions going on and was the ideal way to escape the intense sun. That night we headed to a Mexican place for dinner with substandard guacamole but top notch tacos then got drinks at a live music bar before bed. Our final two days were Carnaval and it was easily my highlight in Rio, albeit with heavy hungover consequences.
Food...
Parque Lage Café in Parque Lage
Brunch here was good because we were looking for some healthy salads after eating too many pastels. It was more on the expensive side as you are paying for the beautiful location.
Espírito Santo in Santa Teresa
This place offered a mixture of Brazilian grub and I was assured that it would be good because the table next to us were Brazilian and had cleaned their plates. The flavours were rich and interesting and the portions filling so you get what you pay for.
Pavão Azul in Copacabana
The foodie in me loved this unassuming spot. There were only about 10 tables and they were all filled with locals. The prices were cheap and the menu had all the traditional plates on there. I tried Escondidinho, a kind of chicken ragu topped with a thick textured purée. It was like nothing I’ve ever had before and so delicious. We also ordered fried aipim, almost like polenta chips but crunchier and they were so so good.
Azteka in Ipanema
If you’re craving a Mexican, this is an easy and affordable option, even if the guac left a little to be desired. Friendly service and a good variety of drinks too. I tried the salty chelada - beer, lemonade and salt. Pleasantly refreshing.
Travel tips...
1. Book buses in person at the bus station not online
2. Book flights on computers and get someone else to read through your booking details before you click “pay”
3. Book hostels in advance for carni season or you will end up paying the same high rates for low quality accommodation
4. Ubers are almost always cheaper than normal taxis and save you so much time getting around huge cities like Rio 5. Tours to Christ the Redeemer are overpriced and not necessary - just get the tram!
6. Be careful around Lapa and Copacabana as these places felt the most ‘unsafe’ for tourists